


Written in the Scars

by LarrySpellsLove



Series: These Scars Will Remain [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Established Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, M/M, Please Don't Kill Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 11:25:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12680922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarrySpellsLove/pseuds/LarrySpellsLove
Summary: Every lie that should happen to fall from the lips of a single person is then transformed into a scar that will forever mark the body of said liar. Given what the job description as a Kingsman entails, the fates somehow excuse these particular men and women on the grounds that they lie for the sake of the greater good. Of course, that doesn't leave them immune to the scars caused by the lies they may tell off duty, or when they are not absolutely necessary.Sometimes, these lies are necessary, and sometimes, Harry Hart would rather scar himself for life than hurt someone who's already been hurt enough.





	Written in the Scars

     Every lie that should happen to fall from the lips of a single person is then transformed into a scar that will forever mark the body of said liar. Given what the job description as a Kingsman entails, the fates somehow excuse these particular men and women on the grounds that they lie for the sake of the greater good. Of course, that doesn't leave them immune to the scars caused by the lies they may tell off duty, or when they are not absolutely necessary.

     Every Kingsman has spoken their fair share of lies, Harry Hart having the most with as many lies as he has spoken to everyone - generally involving any sort of allusion to his personal emotions towards certain subject matters, and the things that worry him most. Mostly, he lied about how he felt for Eggsy Unwin, because some part of him could not fathom the idea that it was even marginally possible for a man more than half his age to ever feel the same depth of love. Of course, Eggsy was the first to confront these feelings, tired of the constant scars that appeared like tally marks upon his wrist - just under his pulse point. After that, there was no longer a need to lie, save for when Harry continuously refused to express to others when he was upset, because God knows Harry would rather suffer in silence, and scar his body, than burden anyone with his problems.

     After Cambodia, Harry had promised not only himself, but Eggsy, that he would stop lying when it was not absolutely necessary. He had regained his memory fully, they made it out of Poppyland alive, and had managed to save Merlin from a rather grotesque death. While Merlin _did_ lose both of his legs, Kingsman had fitted him with top-of-the-line prosthetics, and neither Harry, nor Eggsy, could have been more grateful that Merlin made a full recovery. It was through these events that Harry realized how close he had been to losing the only meaningful parts - or rather, people - in his life, and he no longer felt the need to lie. He was simply too afraid that his last words to anyone may be false.

     Harry and Eggsy managed to create a beautiful love for themselves, and everything seemed to fall into place. Harry was promoted to the title of Arthur, Eggsy remained as the new Galahad, and Medical had managed to dig Roxy, or _Lancelot_ , out of the rubble that had remained as the only indication that the HQ had ever been there. She made it out with only a few broken bones in her left leg, and two fractured ribs, but she was alive nonetheless. It was weeks of recovery and physical therapy, but she bounced back quickly, and was back to field work in just over 6 weeks. Everything was perfect, and nobody could really ask for more out of the organization that they built back from the ground up.

     A few months after Cambodia, while training was still ongoing to replace the members of the Table who were lost in the chaos, Harry sent Eggsy off on a mission. It wasn't anything that either of them hadn't tackled a hundred times before, so neither thought much of it. Eggsy walked into Arthur's office where he found Harry waiting for him with a debriefing folder, and a warm smile. He read through the papers quickly, and handed the folder back to Harry.

     "How long yous suppose this is goin' ta take?" Eggsy didn't ask because he thought he was incapable of doing this quickly, but rather because missions were taxing on his soul when he had to spend more than a few hours away from his lover. He'd done it before, _of course he had_ , but that didn't mean it didn't still scare him when he thought of the possibility of being away for _too_ long.

     "Six hours tops, but I suspect you can get it done in no longer than two." Harry was still smiling, and Eggsy knew Harry was fairly confident in his abilities to complete the mission he'd been given. When Harry stood up, and walked up from behind the large oak desk, he was greeted with a firm kiss, and eyes that he'd stared into long enough to know that there was worry hidden behind the melted-chocolate brown.

     "I'll be back before you know it, and then I think Merlin can handle anythin' that may come up for the rest of the night, so you can come home with me. Think I have an idea for what I'd like you to do to me." Eggsy winked up at Harry, and the latter couldn't help the small laugh that escaped through his lips, tsking at Eggsy.

     "You certainly are a _filthy_ little thing... Don't know what I'd do without you though." Eggsy gave Harry one last kiss before he was donning his glasses, straightening out the black fabric of his suit, and heading off to the front gate to meet his cabbie.

     It was a relatively simple mission that he'd been assigned. All that was required of him was to make an appearance in the warehouse that had become the makeshift hideout for the crony of an up-and-coming drug kingpin in Central London, one Anthony Masters, restrain him, and gather intel. Nothing he couldn't handle. It was simple enough that Harry hadn't even felt it necessary to send anyone along as backup. Both men were confident in the success of this mission.

     When Eggsy arrived, two guns in his shoulder holsters, glasses scanning the interior from outside with infrared vision, and watch buckled tight around his left hand, he knew this mission would be simple. There was only one man inside - who he suspected was none other than Anthony - sat near the furthest right corner, and Eggsy knew well enough that he could easily restrain a single man, and get the information he needed. He took a deep breath in, checked one more time to make sure the clips in his guns were full, and proceeded to kick in the front door, a single Kingsman issued pistol clutched in his right hand.

     Antony jumped up with a startle, staring angrily at Eggsy as the agent made his way forward, sure of himself, and prepared for whatever may come his way.

     "Who the fuck are _you_?" Anthony inquired, a sneer painted across his thin lips.

     "Who I am is of no concern at the moment. What I need to know is who _you_ are, or rather who it is you _work_ for." The polished accent flowed easily off his tongue, and it occasionally caught him off guard by how easily he could switch between the accent he'd grown accustomed to in the Estates, and the posh upper-class accent he'd acquired while training with Harry. He'd put his everything into training, because even if he didn't realize it at the time, he'd wanted nothing more than to make Harry proud; to be just like him.

     "As if I'd tell _you_ that. Who I work for ain't none of your damn business, and it's gonna stay that way unless you want to end up on his hit list."

     "Oh, I'm not too worried about a man who slings drugs for a living. I've rid the world of enough druggies as it is, don't think your boss would be much of a challenge." Anthony engaged him, but Eggsy was able to catch the fist in his open palm, using the advantage to spin the man on his heels. Eggsy now had his gun pressed just under Anthony's chin, the barrel leaving an indentation in the taut flesh as his free arm wrapped around the man's chest in order to keep him in place.

     "I really wouldn't do that if I were you, mate. Not unless you want a bullet through your skull." Anthony stilled his actions immediately, and Eggsy smiled to himself, glad to see he always got his way. "Now, if you'd be so kind as to tell me about your boss, I will gladly be on my way." He knew it was more than likely Anthony would end up dead within the next ten minutes, but he couldn't exactly ask the man to give him information, and tell him that he'd end up shot regardless.

     "I ain't tellin' ya shit, _mate_." So, death it was going to be for Anthony. This mission really was _too_ simple.

_Until it wasn't._

     Eggsy was so caught up in his charades that he had failed to notice that Anthony's stillness could not be credited to cooperation, but rather to his need to free himself. He was a second too late in noticing the knife Anthony slid down from his long shirt sleeve, the sharpened blade plunging deep into Eggsy's left side, tearing straight through the flesh. The shock forced him to pull the trigger, the blood from Anthony's skull splattering across his face as the body slumped to the floor.

     Eggsy collapsed himself, laying flat on the cement as he focused on breathing. He dropped the gun, and reached his now free hand down to inspect the wound. Survival instincts told him that he would bleed out more than he already was if he pulled it out. Regardless, he knew the second he pulled his hand away and processed the blood covering it that he was going to die.

     In a last ditch effort to not die in a warehouse, _alone_ , he reached up, and pressed the button on the side of his glasses, effectively pinging Merlin.

     "Eggsy, what's the problem?" Eggsy was finding it hard to form the words, so he simply lifted his head enough to focus on the knife still sticking out from his abdomen. He heard the sharp intake of breath as Merlin realized what exactly had happened. There was a moment of silence, the only thing heard being his own ragged breathing.

     "Merlin… 'M gonna _die_ …" Eggsy was suddenly crying, every movement of his breath urging more tears, and more blood, out of his body. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. He was supposed to finish this mission easily, and then head home to Harry, where they would share a well-deserved dinner alone, and then finish the night making love to each other. Now, he was going to bleed to death in a warehouse, because of some lowlife drug peddler.

     "I've got Medical on the way, Eggsy. I just need you to hold on until they get there, okay? Can you do that for me?" Eggsy didn't want to speak anymore, knowing that his voice wouldn’t do much in the matter of proving that he could be strong, so he settled for nodding his head quickly. Merlin had promised that Medical would be there in less than ten before he signed off, and he had been true to his word. He could hear the sirens as they approached, and then the sound of several pairs of feet rushing towards him. He barely had enough time to register that there were people touching him before he was being lifted up onto a gurney, people yelling all around him. Everything hurt, and everyone sounded like they were yelling underwater; sounding muffled, and too far away - like Eggsy was drowning.

     He had been refusing to open his eyes, too afraid of what he would see, or _wouldn't_ see, if he opened them. He had no incentive to open them until he heard the lilt of a familiar voice, and suddenly he didn't want his eyes to be closed for another second. Harry came with, because _it's Eggsy, and he's hurt, and he has to be there._ What Eggsy didn't know, what he would _never_ know, is that Medical had warned Harry - through sorrow and hesitation - that Eggsy was too far gone, had suffered too much internal damage, and his fate was inevitable. Nothing they did now was going to save him. All Harry could do was hope to some higher power that Eggsy didn't have to suffer long.

     Harry spent what little time they did have left whispering sweet nothings, promising that he wasn't going to have to be in pain for too much longer, and that he was going to make sure his mother and Daisy were well taken care of. Harry refused to shed a single tear, knowing that Eggsy didn't need his last image of his lover to be a bittersweet one. Eggsy needed the image of _strength_ , and _hope_ , and _love_ , and that's what he was going to give him.

     "Eggsy, _my darling_ … _I love you_ so _very_ much, and you know that, don't you? I love you, and I will always love you. I will never forget you, ever, how could I? You're the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me, and I will _never_ forget that." He whispered to Eggsy, appreciative for the very brief, watery smile that spread across Eggsy's lips as he whispered the words ' _I_  love you' back. The moment was soon ruined, however, as Eggsy's head jerked forward, blood spraying from his mouth as he retched, his lungs burning with the intensity of it.

     Harry reached for his pocket square, running the pale green fabric over Eggsy's mouth before pressing their lips together. He held back the urge to grimace at the metallic taste that now stained his lips, and settled for an equally as wary smile. He knew that any second could be Eggsy's last, and the anxiety of it all was catching up to him. He had so much he still wanted to say, so much he still wanted to _do_ , and he knew that it all was going to fade into nothing but a distant fantasy in a matter of _minutes_.

     He spent their last minutes together continuing his ministrations as the Medical staff worked around them to remove the knife and stop the flow of blood - wiping the blood from Eggsy's face, squeezing his hand to remind him that he was still there for the time being, telling him everything he thought he needed to hear, including a promise he knew he couldn't keep - and making sure that Eggsy knew that he'd be taking Harry's heart with him. He continued these like a ritual, the words beginning to feel like a mantra being engraved in his brain, until he was sure that Eggsy was gone. That beautiful light that once shone so bright in Eggsy's eyes was no longer there, and his chest no longer rose and fell with the need to breath. Eggsy was absolutely, _undeniably_ gone, and Harry had never felt so alone in the world - even as the Medical staff that surrounded him encouraged him to head home.

     Harry couldn't find it in himself to move, but rather settled for burying his head into the bloodied fabric of Eggsy's suit, just above his heart, and broke down, no longer caring that everything in his training had taught him not to cry in public, but to shed a tear in public. He had waited _so long_ to finally be allowed to love Eggsy in the way he wanted to, and now he would never get to do the things that his body and heart ached for most. Eggsy was _gone_ , and Harry could already feel the burn of a new scar forming.

******

     The recruitment process started a few weeks later, and, feeling sorry for his friend, Merlin sponsored a young woman to allow Harry to forego his sponsorship altogether. Merlin wouldn’t be surprised if he never saw Harry sponsor a candidate again. Harry had completely fallen apart, and some part of Merlin that he would never admit to feared that Harry would never come back from the loss. Harry was drinking himself to sleep every night, crying when he thought people weren't looking - or, maybe he knew, and just didn't care anymore - and it broke Merlin's heart. Harry lost himself in as many missions as he could; anything to keep him away from Kingsman, and the city that stole the love of his life.

     One day, as Harry found himself sitting leg against leg with Merlin, overseeing the candidates' shooting training, Merlin had decided that it was time to ask Harry for his honesty. It started with Merlin turning to look at Harry, allowing his eyes to trace over the large, burning red scar that started from the crook of Harry's neck, down to where it disappeared under his button-up, which he knew from an accidental walk-in about a week ago, stopped just over his heart. Then, he took in a deep breath, and forced himself to gain Harry’s attention fully.

     “Yer new scar, Harry… it’s got to be the worst one I’ve ever seen. No offense, of course. I just have to know… what could ya have possibly said that would have caused it?” In all honestly, Merlin had been expecting some sort of lie, or a refusal to speak on the subject, and he couldn’t exactly blame the man. They both had their fair share of losses and lies, but Eggsy was a different story completely. Nothing could ever compare to the pain of that loss of life. However, it had been a shock to the system when Harry turned his whole body to look at him, tears brimming his eyes.

     There was a moment where Merlin wasn't sure that Harry was actually go to speak, but when he did, a part of him wished that he never would have brought it up. Harry had been barely coping as it was, but forcing him to speak on the topic out loud may have been complete rock bottom. Harry said what he needed to say, and he never spoke of it again, to anyone - or anything - but Eggsy's grave.

     “When Eggsy was laying on that gurney, bleeding out, he'd told me how scared he was. He knew he was going to die, and there was something too tragic to think that such a bright soul could have been forced with such a fate, and I… I just wanted him to be _fine_. I  _needed_  him to be fine, even if he wasn’t. I couldn’t bear to see him scared, and I didn't want him to _die_ feeling so _scared_ , so… I told him that he was going to be alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this, because God knows I emotionally hurt myself writing this! For any of you who actually read to the end, I will be posting am alternate ending, in which Eggsy lives. As always, feel free to kudos, comment, message me on here, or Tumblr (@LarrySpellsLove), and thank you for reading! :)


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